On Nothing Ever Being Lost
One way or another, those things we love come back to us. They may not come back the same way they left us, but in spirit, they come back.
My mother treasured a Philadelphia train token, a memento of a day with someone she loved very much. She lost it. Twenty years later, she told an old friend about the day, the someone, and the train token that represented them. A few weeks later, in the mail she received a train token, just like the one she lost. The tokens were no longer being used and the old friend had to cash in several favors to obtain one for her. But he knew how much she would treasure it and he wanted, through love, to at least return to her one like the one she lost. When she received it, she was thrilled that her friend loved her enough and understood her enough (about what some might call her silly attachment) to obtain one for her. Here's the lesson. She believed it was the exact same train token that she had lost. Well, however unlikely, it could have been that exact same one. It felt the same. Did she need to know the truth? No. She *decided* it was the one she lost, and so it was.
A variation on that theme. My father gave me a gold scarab bracelet when I was about 6 years old. He also gave one to my sister. My sister lost hers and stole mine saying that I lost mine. I was six and she was twelve so who listened to me? (I had told the story to illustrate by this example among many others was the reason why I was no longer friends with my sister.) My teenage daughter was working at a retail store and got discounts on products bought there. One day she saw a beautiful gold scarab bracelet in the display box, and she knew that she had to buy it for me. It was expensive and it took months for her to pay for it. She gave it to me for Mother's day. Now, I know for a fact that this bracelet was not the one that my father had given me. It was a gift from my daughter who wanted to fill the hole in my heart made by the loss of the other one. She wrote on the card, "Nothing is ever lost," and said it was from my father too. (Who had passed)
When I wear the bracelet, it is a twice blessed gift from both of them, both old and new at the same time. And there is another lesson the bracelet taught me. My sister lost the second bracelet too. She is without the bracelet. She is without her sister, from whom she stole it. She is without a daughter like mine to return my bracelet to me. (because she stole from her daughter too) The loss is filled many times, in multiple ways. The lesson learned on more than one level.
Here's a fun one. Different still. I was given a pair of silver chalices from a beloved aunt for my first marriage. I loved the chalices upon sight, and could feel the blessing from her in them. The marriage was short lived and ended ugly causing me to pretty much trash anything that reminded me of him. However, I could never seem to give up my precious silver chalices, yet they were lost to me, packed away never to be used because of his tarnishing them.
On the night that I first did the ritual of Drawing Down the Moon, I needed a silver chalice. I thought about buying one but didn't feel a new one would be special enough. (All of my tools are gifts of nature or family) I thought of those chalices given to me by my beloved Aunt. Even incensing, cleansing, purifying them, I still felt negative knowing that one of them had been touched by my ex. You see, neither of them was engraved so one could not be told from another.
Then suddenly, it was clear to me. I closed my eyes and picked one up knowing that it was mine and not his. It has been my sacred cup for over twenty years. When my daughter was old enough to want to Draw Down the Moon, I heard a voice in my head telling me to give her the mate to my chalice. But how could I do that? It was my ex's chalice. Here's the lesson. Since I do not know for sure which is which, I could be giving her *my* chalice not his. So here's where we are now. I know that my chalice is not his and I have mine. But she knows that her chalice is not his and *she* has mine. How is that possible? Do we need to know the truth? Our ignorance makes it possible that both of them are mine. And they meet regularly under the full moon to share the blessing of the aunt that gave them to both of us.
Just because something is gone doesn't mean you can't still love it. It doesn't mean it is not still influencing your life. It doesn't mean that something is wrong. It just means that there is a new opportunity for you that has not yet been revealed to you - and someday you will understand. The gods are good.
© 1996 - 2010 Ardriana Cahill
Top of Page